Been addicted to blogging for a year already and I created a lot of blogs already from different blogging platform…. I wish I could maintain it all, but I am the only one maintaining it all and I have other things to do beside blogging. Although, I spent most of the online, my Yahoo messenger and Google talk are almost online everyday, I tweet at Twitter and I do Plurk always, log on to my Facebook account and play almost all of their WARS Game like Vampire Wars, Mafia Wars (which is my favorite), Mob Wars and Pirates. I also play  the other games there like Mouse Hunt, Farm Town, Restaurant City, Pet Society, Texas HoldEm Poker and Street Racing. And my latest addiction? MyBrute! Well, there’s still someone who is more addicted to it than myself and it’s my brother, he had a lot of MyBrute accounts too, to think  he is just new to the game. You might think that I am super addicted playing these games, but you know what? I actually love these games more especially Mafia Wars, why? Well, I made a few posts about them in my blog and I get lots of traffic on my site! With adsense placed on my blogs, I get to earn little by little from those traffics I get from them. A lot of people had been googling about it online and I am happy I get to see my site on the first page, and sometimes I get lucky enough to I get the be on the top… Well, there are lots of competitors online but I’m glad I had made it through…

Hmmm.. aside from that, I do drop Entrecards to different blogsites, login to forums and interact with the people online there leaving my signature links of my blog posts that I am optimizing for certain keywords to rank high in the search engines… Hmmm… what else do I do online? Ah yeah of course, I am always excited to see my blog stats everyday, it’s fun to see what people had been searching online and landed on my  sites. Then, I check my mails, check my sites for comments to approve, check if I have opportunity or tasks online to make, though I rarely get to receive tasks these days… Anyways, I rarely got opportunities online but God is still good, and I am so excited and happy because I am just cents aways to reaching out the minimum payout of my adsense and that means moolah! Hehehehe… So, even if I got a little tasks made for this month, I still have another option to earn cash… Thank God… I am still hoping to get more advertisers to advertise on my blogs (goodluck!), well, if not I will still try to optimize (kuno) my blogs and hope to gain more visitors arriving from top search engines like Google. Well, it’s my first time to reach 400  to 500+ visits for this week, I used to have around 200-300+ before and I am hoping for more and more and more, hehehehe… Wish ko lang…. Feel free to visit my blogsites: PhotoMIAHgraphy (my photo blog), MeiYah (just moved it to WordPress from blogger and in a new domain), Random Thoughts of an insoMIAH (my 8 month old blog and first blogpowered by WordPresss)… Hmmm.. I’ll just list 3 sites for now hehehehe… Well, if you know all my sites, feel free to check it out and drop a line… ’til then.. tata!

My Technorati account:

Technorati Profile

http://technorati.com/people/technorati/meiyah

I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday when I started to create a new blog in a different web site… A lot of us especially Filipinos are so hooked up in this ‘blog’ thing lately… Well, heres my new Blogsite.

Here’s a few of the blog sites i often try to visit every once in  a while.. so why don’t you try to check this out:

RedHeadedSpeaks

Dabawenya

Coconuter

Carlo Ang

April 20, 2007

Friday; 12:54 a.m.

By:
Jeremiah
“JM”

Ever since I heard your voice on the radio you’ve caught my
attention… Eagerly was then I to know you
more and more…

Doing crazy stuffs just to hear
your voice… just to see you and for you to spare a little time for me…

Gazing at your picture every night
for the past years and only God knows how much you meant for me…

As I lay down to sleep thoughts of
you keep haunting me… Always dreaming of one day it’s going to be you
and me…

Realized that I don’t mean a thing
to you bleeds my heart and sunk in blood…

At the moment I see your happy
face… hearing your laughter and in every simple things you do brightens up my
day…

Love is the word I know that I
feel for you… without asking anything in return but just to let you know I
don’t have the courage to say…

Letting go of this feeling I
cannot just do for you’ve captured a special place in my heart that no one has
ever had…

Always thinking and loving you
despite the distance and absence of you… In my heart you’ll always be…

Never know when this feeling will
subside but one thing is for sure, I will always treasure every moment I shared
with you… Every moment…

My best friend is into filmmaking lately, on my birthday she asked me about my LOLO and the incident at the Davao International Airport last March 4, 2003… They were planning to do a movie about it for the Guerilla Filmmaking 4, she’s concerned about how I still feel about the incident and at the same time gathered some infos about what happened that day… I still feel sad everytime i think of it but somehow I felt excited thinking of making it into a movie and so I decided to join them. A few colleagues of mine at AMACC including their friends and their friend’s friends were now ready to shoot for our upcoming Short film Entry. Sharon was the one who wrote the script and I’m helping her do some research about it… I really enjoyed the experience that we had during the shoot. I get to meet some friends and they were all nice and friendly… Everyday they have to go to work and at night we had to shoot for some scenes, it was really hard for them also but for the LOVE OF ART they’re still surviving though even if sometimes it takes us ‘til dawn for us to finish some of the scenes. We still manage to laugh and joke at things that happened to us, (Bakit aku nagbumba??!) Though it was really a hard task to let the artist pour his/her emotions into that particular scene but still they managed to do it. There were discussions and arguments but thank God we were able to fix it though the burden was put onto our scriptwriter, as she has to REVISE again some parts of the movie. Still we enjoyed the experience; all the late night walks on the streets carrying our stuffs and all that (Wala na kasing pamasahe…), Sleeping on a petite room with the five of us there to crowd in, going to work and haven’t sleep for nights and the revision of the script over and over again… but the good thing is we were able to finish the film and be able to see it on big screen…yeah! It was amazing…all the hardships were put into that film and you can see the people’s reaction about how the film goes, it makes you so proud of yourself… And a lot more prouder when we got almost all the awards during the awards night… All those sleepless nights were paid off… lolz… Hurray! to all the cast and crew of "MARSOKWATRO".

Awards: Best Actor, Best in Musical Score, Best in Editing, Best in Cinematography, Best Director and Red Fist Award for Best Production Value.

                   MARSOKWATRO TRAILER 

            MARSOKWATRO (Awards Night, Behind the Scenes, Cast and Crew)

(to be continued pa..hehe…)

This has been a very difficult year for me. The year started with my Lola rushed into the hospital for heart attack. Everyone in the family was shocked and so worried coz this is the first time my Lola had a heart attack… The doctor examined her brain and told us that there was a blood on her brain and she needed to be operated but the chances are 50-50… there was some research done and discussion in the family… everyone was so worried and all we could do is pray… A cousin of mine told me that the doctor told her that na hindi na tatagal si Lola, I feel so cold.. nervous.. so down.. I don’t know what I was feeling that time…I just stand beside her, hold her hands and utter a prayer… She was in a coma for a few days and when she woke up she couldn’t hardly speak and half of her body was paralyzed.. Kept on praying every minute just thinking of her situation… I could say it was the most difficult time we ever had since my cousin and Lolo died last 2003… Our families had just been reunited again after that incident (I think so…) but what just happened to my Lola made it worst again… and I think both families will never be the same again.. just like before…

May 2006…The month na supposedly graduation namin…. but with lots of problems with my major subject Microprocessor and my panelists were so I dunno what to call them na… ggrrr… sarap k*l*m*n..ahhaha.. jowk lang… basta kainis sila… basta…(hehe).. ayun… nasettle ko na nga yung dapat isettle sa major subject ko, my problem na2man… DI na ako pina-enroll sa school namin kasi late na daw ako sa enrollment… (WOW! Milagro KAAYO!) pero pag freshmen ang ma-late ng enroll, hala..WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN…tatanggapin pa rin nila… hay… pero ok lang..ai dli jud xa okay… pero la na kong magawa hay… pero atleast now tapos na talaga ako.. Whew… just waiting for my graduation day nalang this May 2007… with lots of problems in my so called family and problems at school…thank God I still manage to go on and live my life… praying everyday that we will surmount this trials that we were having… After a few months my Lola’s feeling better already, she can recognize us, can talk again but she’s still into therapy every week so she can finally walk again without the aid of someone else… It was the greatest miracle GOD has ever given us… the gift of life.. He gave her a chance to live again and be with us… and also a chance for us to show her how much she meant to us… THANK YOU LORD!

I tried to fight the battles in life,

A battle not easy to wIn.

A fatal strike came one day,

Loosen my hope as i fall hard on ground.

Alone, I’m hurting but much from the inside.

Still, I struggle… Fought hard ’til the end.

Trying to act brave in this lonely mission

Yearning to surpass the pain no one could ever bear.

But as each blow I take,

broked my very urge to move on…

The child in me awakened,

from the burdens my heart cannot conquer.

Confusion, Anxiety, Agony…

In the depths of the child’s soul you’ll see.

The journey to find oneself been set on mind.

Wounded heart it carries in an unknown expedition.

Each foe overthrowned as time passed by…

Wounds were healed…

but it’s memory forever dwells in it’s young mind…

Don’t know why, just out of the blue, my mind drove off to you. Years had passed but can’t forget this feeling I have for you. Thought it was gone through the years that had passed, but it was just resting inside, waiting for the right cue. As I lay down to sleep, memories of you keep haunting me on the silent of the night, alone… I’m still awake… Painful feelings i always feel knowing your heart’s been owned. Past is past, I know… but this foolish heart’s still shouting for your name. Deep inside my heart, it’s you and always been you it was crying for. Only you can heal this crazy heart of mine, but I know it would be dream forever would not come…  =(

-jm-p3ea-

Every time an incident would remind me of a certain thing that connects to my past, I couldn’t help myself but cry. I thought I have forgotten and overcome the pain I always feel whenever I remember it. I have already forgiven those people who had hurt me intentionally and unintentionally, I just don’t know if they knew it but until now I cried every time I remember it. Past is past, but the pain that they’ve caused me is still carved in my heart. I always asked God, and myself: why can’t I let go of my past? The pain is still here… a lot of whys….

I was thinking of calling my friend who is a psychology graduate but I was hesitant, I don’t know but I was afraid of what would be the outcome. And just last night I was tiding up my things and I found a piece of paper… It was in my cabinet for years and I haven’t opened it up until that night and the questions that I’ve been asking for is in there and I think some of the answers were true: that I’ve been hurt so much emotionally and physically, I haven’t forgiven the people that caused me much pain, that I was still waiting for the other person to ask for forgiveness. Well, maybe I haven’t really completely forgiven those people that had hurt me, that’s why I can’t fully forget everything. 

Through a piece of paper God sends His message for me and made me realize how wonderful He is. I’m so thankful that in spite of my shortcomings God is still there for me and He never abandoned me every time I am troubled, alone and hurt. He sends his messages to us in different ways, sometimes we just overlooked at it and think that He had deserted us but He’s always there for all of us, especially for those who is in need of help, all we have to do is to have reach out for Him and have faith…